Self Discipline - Personal Practice

I use to spend a lot of time debating with myself over whether I should do something or other or not.  I would make myself sick with guilt if I didn’t do the “thing” I committed to myself I would do.  

I practiced Self Discipline in a very unconstructive fashion.  I would beat myself up and consider myself a failure if I didn’t follow through.  

The fear of feeling this way pushed me to my edge and then over many times.

I had all these rules to keep myself happy all the time.  Or a version of what I thought happiness was.  

For instance, I would say to myself if I do this “thing” then I can relax and be happy and everyone around me will be happy too.  Then I would run myself ragged trying to do too many “things” in order to achieve happiness and give happiness.  The problem was that I always had too many “things” to do.

Then I started to realize that there is a process to achieving “something” and I may not always like the process and that it’s okay to not like it or to be unhappy sometimes while working on “something”.

I recognized that there is a Self Discipline attached to many of the “things” I do and achievement is my reward, even if it is small.

Then I started to ask myself questions the same way I would ask a friend questions who felt imprisoned by the “things” they wanted to accomplish.  I asked myself simple questions like: 

Will I feel a sense of accomplishment upon completing this thing?

Will there be long term benefits that I feel is worth the effort now?

Do I have to do this?  Do I want to do this?

Is this what I really want to do, or is this something I feel “I have” to do for someone else or to fit in to society?

Sometimes surprisingly enough the answer was “No” to some of these questions.

What freedom!  Some of the “things” I felt I needed to do all of a sudden I didn’t feel so imprisoned by anymore.  I stopped making myself miserable, or at least I recognized if I was making myself miserable, in attempt to provide happiness to others.

Taking away the rules and structure and breaking down my “thing” to its basic foundation of “Is it good for me” clarified Self Discipline and has made the Journey much more rewarding.

So ask yourself.  Is it good for me?