Positive Thoughts - Personal Practice

Taking a chance and doing things different than you have before is not without fear.

It’s amazing how recognizing you need to let go of the past and the associated patterns of your past can leave you feeling lost.

When you choose to step out from behind your walls and you let go of all the defense mechanisms you have created you may feel a bit if anxiety.

That’s what I have felt recently; fear, lost, and full of anxiety.

I could not pin point why I was feeling this way until I talked it out.  I had to say it out loud.  I had to talk through my inner most thoughts and fears to hear how attached I still am to old behavior and patterns.  

There is this expectation I have of myself that I “should” operate and conduct my life in a specific way.  That I “could” take a different path to ensure I remain in control.

Those are negative thoughts; should and could.  

Why would I waste my energy and time thinking about should and could, when I could focus on the here and now and what is?

The answer is easy.  The past is familiar and safe.  Those are the thoughts that comfort me and keep me safe and in control.  It’s the way in which I conducted my life that I feel attached to.  Those are the thoughts that keep me from feeling and from getting hurt.

I’m afraid of getting hurt.  

I’m more afraid of not feeling.

So I choose to allow the fear, sense of being lost, and all the anxiety that comes with it.

I’m feeling!  What a wonderful way to live!  Being in the here and now and being afraid!

The clarity that comes with recognizing the patterns and the ability to see the negativity that festers with these patterns is worth the work that I’ve put into learning to be honest with myself.

I choose to be honest, positive, and feel.

I’m certain I can do this!