Give - Personal Practice

This week has been a full of lessons for me, but one common theme kept coming up in each of the lessons.  Be giving and accept what you are given.

When I wanted a specific experience, I asked for it and my request was granted.  The request demanded time and money from another person.  They gave both to me freely.

When I let go of my perspective regarding how something should "look" and took time to listen to others, I opened up to their perspective and found myself being more giving.

When I needed a friend to listen and to be there for me at a moments notice.  I found their gift of time helped me to gain insight and a new perspective.  This made a difference to me as it kept me from being irrational.

When I asked for help in the upcoming future.  I asked not for an immediate and all or nothing answer.  I asked for consideration and any variation of help would be appreciated.  The response was more than I hoped and the gift of time given to me has put my mind at ease.

Now, this is not to say that there wasn't strife along the way or that my ego didn't rule here and there.

I asked for help along the way from another and was turned down.  I had thought it was a bit extreme in the denial of the request.  Then I reminded myself that I may not have the whole story and I am not in the position to judge.  With a positive attitude the end result was better than the original request denied.

Also in hindsight, I can see where my ego caused issue and where it helped.

I found others asking for time I could not give due to other commitments.  I had to say no and felt guilty about denying the request.  But to have tried to make it work would have caused additional stress and anxiety.  Simply a case of saying no and my accepting my own no.

I found another asking me to change future plans, but this would not have been good for my relationship with others and I value those relationships.  I denied the request.  This is still causing issue, but I have to accept that I can not please everyone.

I found myself wanting to guard my perspective and this caused heartache.  Then I decided my perspective was based on past experience and I could practice letting go of the past and opening up to a new approach.  This I still need to work on, but I've taken steps toward changing my perspective.

In conclusion, this past week has been a lot of give and take.  But isn't it always about that?  Isn't it always about finding balance?

Where I can.  I do choose to give!

Give - Yoga Lesson

Give.  It's such a simple word, but with a big meaning.

There are times when we rationalize why we should not give.  

For instance:

It might be when you are frustrated with another person and you want to guard your position and not give in.

It could be something you materially want, but not need.  To give up on the want could open up new possibilities that help others or simply bring them joy.

Possibly you have plans for "your time", but at a moments notice someone asks for your help.  You could choose to stick to your plans or help.

To guard and act upon our immediate wants is to let our ego rule.  To let greed of our time, things, and perspectives lead us.

However, ego is a good thing.  In Moderation!  Ego keeps us from being taken advantage of and helps us to follow our own true path in life.

The practice is:

To know the difference.  To know when to give.  To know know ourselves.

Practice what "Give" means to you.

Then simply, give.

Want What You Have - Personal Practice

I've found myself thinking often lately to "be careful what I wish for, I might just get it"!

I think of myself as a go-getter and will achieve anything I set my mind to.

I'm always driving myself toward achieving something.

I seek out something for a sense of accomplishment.  Sometimes I seek things I don't want or need to divert attention from the things I really want.

I divert myself toward easy achievements so I don't have to worry about failure with regard to things I really want.  

I at times put up obstacles to the things I want.  I make it harder to achieve by creating extra work or thinking it's not perfect enough.  

I do this because I know that once I achieve the desired outcome, the work toward the desired achievement will end.

I worry I won't want what I've sought out after putting so much energy into the desired outcome.

I see I'm not very appreciative.  I take for granted many of my accomplishments. 

I spend much time thinking about the next achievement vs. enjoying the life I've lived that led me to the here and now.

So I decided I needed to look around me.  To see what I have.

I acknowledge I have achievements and things I do not want or need.  The hard part is letting go of what I do not want or need.

The hardest to let go of is ego attachment to achievements.  

How will I let go of "gloating" about some of my accomplishments?  They do not serve me in the here and now.  After I talk about them I very often feel silly about them because it's reliving a past that has no purpose.  

I do recognize there is a difference between gloating and offering experience to help another.  Offering experience I can be proud of, as long as I'm not forcing it on another person.

But, after all it is spring!  Time to clear out the clutter!  Time to let go!

What remains, I will appreciate.

I aspire to want what I have!

Want What You Have - Yoga Lesson

Ever notice how at times it seems like you can't rest until you have what you want?

That driving yourself to achieve something specific will bring you happiness.

Why not take time to look around you?

Take time to think about all the achievements of the past and what you have.

Renew appreciation for the achievements.

Learn from experiences where you may have pushed yourself toward something, but in the end did not want it.

It's okay to not want something you have, and if that is the case take steps to remove it.

Be satisfied with everything you have learned about yourself up to this moment.

Be mindful of what you are seeking next.

Want what you have!

Holding A Grudge - Personal Practice

I've spent many moments of my life reliving the past and creating new outcomes.

I've said to myself "if only this had happened in stead" or "I didn't deserve that".

I've held on very tightly to the past.

I like to think I'm better at refraining from this behavior now.  But there are times when I jump back on that bandwagon!

This past week I wasted a couple of days of my life holding onto a comment made to me.  I thought I understood the context of the comment and didn't see a point in hashing through it further with the person who made the comment.

I twisted that one comment in my mind.  I took every negative path imaginable with that one comment.

I looked for other perspectives.  I talked about the comment with family and friends. 

Essentially, I sought to have others confirm why I should be upset and justified in holding a grudge regarding the comment.

Lucky for me, I have people in my life who challenge me to dig deeper

It wasn't until I communicated about my perspective that realized I had been holding a grudge.

This is not the person I want to be.  I do not want to be someone who holds grudges, stops communicating, and feels sorry for myself!

I STILL found it hard to open up about the comment to the person who made it, but begrudgingly I did.

Then I found that I had taken the comment out of context and misunderstood.

I wasted two days of my life holding onto this grudge and making myself miserable.

On the positive side of this, at least is was only two days!  There were times when it would have been much longer and possibly years.

I still have practice to do in this area of my life.  I accept that.

I aspire to be someone who can challenge a comment rationally in the moment it is made and refrain from holding grudges.

Thank Goodness "I let it go"!  

Now that I no longer have this grudge to hold onto, I can be better in this moment.

Holding A Grudge - Yoga Lesson

Sometimes negativity in the past is hard to forget and we hold onto it in the form of a Grudge.

We hold onto the grudge and feel we are justified in doing so.  

We felt wronged and need to prove how wrong that was done to us was.

We may talk about the grudge and justify behavior towards others because of our grudge.

What benefit is received by doing this?

Does it make better if we dwell on the negativity of the past and hold onto it? 

  

If we can practice letting go of the negative from our past and let go of grudges, then we can put that energy into the here and now.

By letting go we can focus on the positive things in our lives in this moment and look forward to the future.

The past can not be changed.  It happened.  It's your life experience.

Now go and make a new life experience!  

Breath in the fresh air of the new day!

Experience this moment.

Let it go.

Different - Personal Practice

I was told this past week that "Different" is my favorite word.

I didn't disagree!

I'm always looking for a way to be different or to do something different.  

I want everywhere I go to be different.  I want to wear my clothes different.  I want my house to be different.

I want every yoga class I teach to be different.

Then I started to think that I may be pushing this different thing a bit too far.

I noticed how hard I fight things that I perceive as being main stream or like anything someone else may have or do.

I started to think about the things I thought I'd have in my life and how different my life is from my plans.

I challenged myself to embrace the things that I have or do that may be perceived by others and myself as main stream.  I asked myself to let go of the worry with regard to how I'm not different like I thought I'd be according to the plans.

But because it isn't to plan, isn't that different?

I think so.

I look back at all the things that went according to plan, how I forced myself, others, or things to be just so.  Those were mostly miserable experiences.  

Do I want to push my ideal of perfection, or do I want to be imperfect and different and embrace this moment for what it is?  I choose the latter.

I suggest to anyone to question differences, but also to question why different may be "in opinion" good or bad.

Look deeper.  Different is a perspective and it may or may not be shared by others around you.

Regardless I choose to embrace "different" and I hope others do too!

Different - Yoga Lesson

Different is a perspective.

What one person thinks is different, another may find it completely normal or seemingly similar to someone or something else.

Notice how one person may take a thought or an idea and build upon it quite different from someone else who was presented with the same information.

The same mass produced item can be used or appreciated differently.

Different is based on the vision the unique individual has.

Whether it's a way to live life, how an item is used, or how an idea is created.

Sometimes we force an ideal and it's perceived perfection on ourselves or others.  We want a mold that allows everything to be the same.

We want an exact replica of the item or experience, or even of people.

What fun is that?

Differences are what make life special.

Be Different!

Commitment - Personal Practice

I like to think I'm a committed person.

But in reflection upon my life I noticed it depended on what the commitment was.

Commitment I decided should be the lesson this week because I started out this week really proud of myself because I'd hit a milestone in my life with regard to commitment in a relationship, but by the middle of the week I was questioning my commitment.

I was surprised when I reflected back on my life and my commitments.  I found that I had purposely challenged people and waited for them to fail.  This way I could place blame on someone else for a failure.  I put myself in challenging and sometimes unhappy situations so I could show others how "really" committed I could be.  But I stayed protected and safe with the set up.

Specifically, this is all surprising with regard to relationships because I had a very long term relationship, but it was not without it's bumpy start.  But once the momentum was in place with the relationship I stayed committed and "my commitment" became a burden.  It was all about the commitment and not about the things that make up a committed relationship.  I didn't really have to work at it because I was on autopilot with commitment.  It became work without joint inspiration and there was no reward for either of us.

I didn't give up!  I tried again at relationships.  I knew I could be committed!  But that is all I knew.

Some commitments I made were half hearted and other commitments were not true to my heart.  

I really wanted to "make" something work, but force wasn't going to help.  It took me a while to figure this out.

Practicing self awareness helped me to realize the the importance of feeling rewarded and inspired by my commitments.  I began to recognize why some commitments were easier than others, even if some of the commitments were hard work.  This was for all things, not just relationships.

So when I found myself questioning my relationship this week, I noticed it was "my commitment" that was in question and not the relationship.  I'm inspired and rewarded by the relationship and commitment is worth it.  

The hard work that goes into any commitment that inspires and rewards is worth it and when I'm not getting my way I need to remind myself of that.  It's the "not getting what I want all the time" that makes commitment hard work!  

There are irritating things that bruise my ego, get me agitated, or frustrate me because it's not "my way".  

But will anything always be my way?  

Gosh, I hope not!  I've found that many things I've asked for in life I've gotten, and then I found myself noting later to "be careful what you wish for because you just might get it".

When staying committed some days are easy, some are not.  But I'll take the good with the bad as long as there is inspiration and reward for my commitments.  As long as I can look deep within and know the effort is true to my heart, I'll put in the work.

So I guess I don't need to "think" I'm a committed person, I really am a committed person!

Commitment - Yoga Lesson

Commitment can be tough!

Sometimes it seems as though we are not getting anywhere with our commitments.

We want to stay committed to ourselves and / or to others, but we fail.

When we fail in a commitment the important question to ask ourselves is; did we fail because we were not receiving reward for our commitment or did we fail because it was hard?

Some commitments are easy and some are difficult.  You know the difference.

The commitment to brush our teeth before we go to bed at night is easy.  Who doesn't want healthy teeth and gums?

The commitment to meet a friend for dinner is easy.  Who doesn't want to socialize with people we care about?

The commitment to do our wash and clean the house is more difficult.  Who doesn't want clean clothes and a house, but wouldn't it be nice to get someone else to do it?

The commitment to help a friend move can be a pain.  There is always something better to do when faced with this situation, but if you asked for help wouldn't you want to be able to rely on your friends?

The commitment to our relationships when we are irritated is challenging.  It would be nice if everyone did things exactly as you would like them to, but then things would be boring and there wouldn't be the differences we see in one another that makes life more interesting, and do you really want to spend all your time with your exact duplicate?

Make note of the rewards for your commitments.  All commitments have rewards, even the unpleasant ones.

Make a commitment to evaluate your commitments.  Note the rewards of your commitments.

And remember, it's okay to let go of commitments that are not rewarding to you.

Be committed and inspired!