Want What You Have - Personal Practice

I've found myself thinking often lately to "be careful what I wish for, I might just get it"!

I think of myself as a go-getter and will achieve anything I set my mind to.

I'm always driving myself toward achieving something.

I seek out something for a sense of accomplishment.  Sometimes I seek things I don't want or need to divert attention from the things I really want.

I divert myself toward easy achievements so I don't have to worry about failure with regard to things I really want.  

I at times put up obstacles to the things I want.  I make it harder to achieve by creating extra work or thinking it's not perfect enough.  

I do this because I know that once I achieve the desired outcome, the work toward the desired achievement will end.

I worry I won't want what I've sought out after putting so much energy into the desired outcome.

I see I'm not very appreciative.  I take for granted many of my accomplishments. 

I spend much time thinking about the next achievement vs. enjoying the life I've lived that led me to the here and now.

So I decided I needed to look around me.  To see what I have.

I acknowledge I have achievements and things I do not want or need.  The hard part is letting go of what I do not want or need.

The hardest to let go of is ego attachment to achievements.  

How will I let go of "gloating" about some of my accomplishments?  They do not serve me in the here and now.  After I talk about them I very often feel silly about them because it's reliving a past that has no purpose.  

I do recognize there is a difference between gloating and offering experience to help another.  Offering experience I can be proud of, as long as I'm not forcing it on another person.

But, after all it is spring!  Time to clear out the clutter!  Time to let go!

What remains, I will appreciate.

I aspire to want what I have!