Holding A Grudge - Personal Practice

I've spent many moments of my life reliving the past and creating new outcomes.

I've said to myself "if only this had happened in stead" or "I didn't deserve that".

I've held on very tightly to the past.

I like to think I'm better at refraining from this behavior now.  But there are times when I jump back on that bandwagon!

This past week I wasted a couple of days of my life holding onto a comment made to me.  I thought I understood the context of the comment and didn't see a point in hashing through it further with the person who made the comment.

I twisted that one comment in my mind.  I took every negative path imaginable with that one comment.

I looked for other perspectives.  I talked about the comment with family and friends. 

Essentially, I sought to have others confirm why I should be upset and justified in holding a grudge regarding the comment.

Lucky for me, I have people in my life who challenge me to dig deeper

It wasn't until I communicated about my perspective that realized I had been holding a grudge.

This is not the person I want to be.  I do not want to be someone who holds grudges, stops communicating, and feels sorry for myself!

I STILL found it hard to open up about the comment to the person who made it, but begrudgingly I did.

Then I found that I had taken the comment out of context and misunderstood.

I wasted two days of my life holding onto this grudge and making myself miserable.

On the positive side of this, at least is was only two days!  There were times when it would have been much longer and possibly years.

I still have practice to do in this area of my life.  I accept that.

I aspire to be someone who can challenge a comment rationally in the moment it is made and refrain from holding grudges.

Thank Goodness "I let it go"!  

Now that I no longer have this grudge to hold onto, I can be better in this moment.