Plans - Personal Practice

I'm a planner!  

I'm usually looking toward an outcome and can visualize exactly how things should and will be.

I set my course of action and I have been known to be unyielding and demanding.  Demanding of myself and anyone else who is part of the plan.

Being unyielding in plans has worked to my advantage and also my disadvantage.  It's worked to my advantage when I've been tasked to reach a goal, but it's worked to my disadvantage when I've hurt people along the way to that same goal.

Plans have also been known to let me down.  I worked to accomplish the tasks at hand and reached the goal but the outcome didn't "feel" like I thought it would.  The outcome didn't bring me the satisfaction I had hoped it would.  

I was then faced with finding a new plan to bring me that "feeling" I was looking for.  Then usually I'd be in the same boat once reaching the outcome, or the "feeling" I had hoped for would be accomplished, but it would be fleeting.

Self awareness has helped me to recognize that moments come and go and each moment is what I have and who I am.

My practice has taken me to being in "the moment".  A place where I recognize that things will not go as planned and I must adapt.

This past week I had some plans go astray.  Actually I had many plans go astray, and honestly I attached to most of my plans.  I guess that is why we call this "practice". 

One simple plan was to get a good nights rest before a fun weekend.  But unfortunately, I did not sleep well a couple nights in a row.

I had my nasty moments along the way over the weekend where I was hurtful to others because I wasn't thinking as clearly as I would have if I had been fully rested.  Another reason for those nasty moments was I had attached to my expectations and the outcome of my plans.  

But I recovered and I still had a great time! 

The good thing about practicing being in the moment and adapting to a situation that may not be ideal is that you immediately recognize when you are not being on your best behavior.  

Apologies come quickly and the next moments were saved because of self awareness.

The great thing about a practice like this is that we are not alonge!  

I noticed how others in my life adapted to situations that were not ideal as well this past weekend.  They choose to make modifications to their plans or perceived ideal situations to accommodate myself or others in the group.

All in all the plans worked out because of the give and take, the willingness to let go of expectations, and kindness expressed to one another.

There are so many cliches associated to "plans".  Because I am a planner it makes me sad to think I would live my life in cliches.  

So when I find myself attached to a plan and I'm trying to force the outcome o the plan, I remind myself that I don't want to be living for the outcome.  I let it go and I work to adjust my attitude.  If called for, I make necessary apologies.

I then plan to continue my practice to be in the moment!