Listen - Personal Practice

For the first time in a long time I found myself wanting to really listen to another person.

Don’t get me wrong.  I listen intently to others all the time.  In fact I’m very fastidious when it comes to details of conversations when I am trying to accomplish a task.  

However, I should note that when I’m being so fussy I’m usually taking notes during the conversation to put together a plan.   It’s usually being done in order to achieve a desired outcome in the “occupational” world.

And much to the disappointment of those closest to me I tend to get ahead of myself and them in conversation and miss some of the details when they relay a story or situation to me.  I’m thankful for their patience with me!  I’m also thankful for when they call me out on this!

This week though I met a person who I listened to intently and found myself interested in their life.  When I wanted to talk ahead of them in excitement, I stopped.  I continued to listen.  And I was interested for the pure enjoyment of the interaction.

Interestingly enough this interaction happened at the same time I found guidance from a friend who recommended I read “The Five Love Languages” by Author Gary Chapman.

In this read it explained how an individual needs to be appreciated.  How when others interact with an individual, if they know the love language of that individual it will make for a dynamic and enjoyable relationship.

To understand any one persons love language you must first listen.  Step out of your expectations and your learned behavior based on past circumstance.  Step out of the thought process that you can read a situation based on experience.  

Listen with fresh ears and a fresh heart!

Listen and live a new life!

Listen - Yoga Lesson

When we learn to listen to ourselves and offer understanding to ourselves we open the door to better communication with others.

Taking the time to hear what another is saying to you and what they need from you makes for better communication and better relationships.

Allow yourself to learn how to listen.  Practice listening to yourself first and hone that skill.  

It may take time and that’s okay.  It may be somewhat painful and that’s also okay.

Transformation takes time.

The reward in time will be the ability to be open to other thoughts and ideas.

Listen!

Looking Past the Moment - Personal Practice

What a challenge it has been lately to stay in the moment!

I’ve found myself making my mind up on exactly how the future should look and feel.  I’ve found myself making plans for all the things I “should” do in the upcoming months.

I’ve found myself reflecting on the past and its impact on my current life.

The big thing here is “I’ve found myself” doing these things.

It’s a practice to stay in the moment and recognize such behavior.  

It’s a practice to know that your fate is not within your control and the moment is all you truly have.

The difficulty of this practice became evident this week as a family member was struck ill suddenly.

There was nothing that could be done but wait to see if I could help in anyway necessary.  There was nothing to fix on my part.

It was out of my hands.

I felt calm and at peace with the moments of my life as I came to terms with this. 

It’s not that I haven’t been at terms with it, but sometimes life sends you gentle reminders to continue with your practice of being aware and in the moment.

So as life happens, I choose to be in the moment.  And I’m thankful for the people in my life that remind me to continue with this practice!

Looking Past the Moment - Yoga Lesson

So often we get caught up in the things we need to do, or how life will be better when we accomplish this or that task.

This is also true of the energy we put into moments that have already passed.  We may think, if only I had done this differently or I wish I could change this.

We spend so much energy and time on the future or past we forget about the moment we are in.

When we live life in the moment and practice being in the moment we find that the past is a treasure that we can reference in our life experience and the future is handled with ease and patience.

Embrace the moment you are in!

Telling Yourself the Truth - Personal Practice

I have particularly been interested in the truth this week.  

Throughout my life I’ve been blessed with family and friends who “call me out” when I’m being less than honest with myself.

However, in my past I’ve admittedly dismissed them at time and continued along my disillusioned path.  I had convinced myself of the lie I was telling me.

Through hard work and awareness I am now able to “call myself out”.

This is tough!  

The lies I tell myself sometimes can be so elaborate that I get confused!  When I think back it’s rather humorous.

Why would I go through this much trouble?  The answer is fear!

I’ve found in retrospect that when I’m afraid I find ways to protect myself and to lie to myself gives me comfort and can remove some of the fear.  But only for a short time does this work.

The irony in any lie is that you need another lie to aid the first one, then another, then another.  Until you become so engrossed in the lies you no longer know the real truth.  Even the ones you tell only yourself.

So to practice telling myself the truth, when ever I want to lie to myself I tell the lie out loud while looking in the mirror.  If that doesn’t work, I call a trusted friend or family member. 

I’m not interested in lies.  I’ve found the lifestyle of maintaining them takes way too much energy that can be used elsewhere for more positive experiences in life.

I will not lie.

Telling Yourself the Truth - Yoga Lesson

It’s so natural to lie to ourselves.  

We can manipulate thoughts to meet our needs or feed our perceptions of how things should be.

The challenge is in recognizing when this is happening and practicing a new approach.  Honesty!

When you can honestly see yourself and see how you work your thoughts to suit yourself you will open a new chapter in your life and interaction with others will take on a new meaning for you

Are You Ready? - Personal Practice

Ironically enough my lesson this week came in the form of my own manipulative behavior.  

I found myself wanting something that I wasn’t getting so much that I lashed out negatively to the person I expected the something from. This was an attempt to make it happen faster by making them feel bad.

When I did this I instantly regretted it.

If we ask for something from someone and do not get it, we may ask again.  

Then if we still do not get it, we may ask again.  

We might even ask the question “am I not going to get it” even though we may have received the commitment that we would.  Then we might receive confirmation again it’s on its way.  Then still not get it.

You may ask yourself, should I give up on this?  

I guess it’s a judgment call.  In my case I’ll continue to ask.  

However I realize I do not control others and being manipulative or lashing out does not help to get me what I want faster.

Communicating with others is simply stating what you want or need and accepting their response to your request.

So this week I remind myself that staying open and communicative is the way I want to live my life.  I also remind myself that others do not do things the way I would do them and that is okay.  

I will continue to practice being patient.  I will continue to practice being honest and open with what is on my mind.

I will allow others to do things as they will and not try to force my will.

I can be patient.

Are You Ready? - Yoga Lesson

We all have great ideas for change in our lives.  

We think some aspect of our lives will improve if we can complete some task or objective.  However, we struggle to make that “thing” happen for ourselves.

If you are struggling, possibly it’s because you are not ready and the time and effort you put into pushing on “it”, whatever that “it” may be, is wasted energy because you are not ready.

Taking a step back and taking a break may be just what is needed to place the “thing” or the “it” into perspective and allow you to Be Ready.

So breathe and accept where you are now in this moment.  Let the readiness come.

Acceptance - Personal Practice

I received a very inspirational lesson this week from a yoga teacher who has just begun her journey of inspiring others.  I went into the class knowing that she wasn’t as experienced and even hesitated initially at going because I didn’t know what type of class I would be receiving.  

What a great decision to step out of the “known” and into something “new”!

So she ended up giving me two lessons.  

The first is one I need to be reminded of every so often, and that is to “try something new”.  I realize new doesn’t always mean it will be pleasant, but if I don’t take the chance how will I know?

The second was to “Put my attention onto the things I want to see grow and expand in my life”.

The second lesson was extremely inspirational as I started to think about the goals and intentions I have set for myself and how I’d like to see myself achieve them.

I went straight home and wrote the following to myself on a piece of paper:

“What Intentions will Grow Today with your Attention?”

I then drew a tree on that same piece of paper and off from the branches I listed the Intentions I have for myself.

I have posted that piece of paper on my Intention Mirror.  The Intention Mirror is in my bathroom.  I look at my intentions each day and know I have set standards and goals for my life that I want to be constantly reminded of until I master the practice of them so they become easier for me each day.

Now I have a new way of looking at those same intentions.  I think of how I will water them to grow in my life with “attention”!

Where will you put your attention today?

Acceptance - Yoga Lesson

Acceptance is challenging!

So often we want to change.  We look toward the future and being someone different.  Or, we think we’ll be happy when we can change this or that aspect of our lives.

Can you accept who you are in this moment?  Can you be gentile with yourself and let go of the expectations of change?

Change is inevitable!  It can’t be stopped!  Why force it?

The allowing and acceptance of the process, the being present in the transition will lead you to where you are supposed to be faster than if you try to force change.