When I use to think of emotion, I viewed it as something to hide.
It didn’t matter what emotion it was, I needed to keep it guarded.
When I was indifferent, sad, or even angry I did my best to keep a straight face or act really polite and pleased about what ever it was I was involved in or doing.
When I was really happy or excited, I was afraid to show those emotions to others as they may see it as a sign of weakness or try to use the circumstance that created my happiness again to manipulate me.
If I did break down and show emotion, I would find a way to blame the person I showed emotion to. It was their fault I had that break in my armor!
Wow! What a lot of wasted energy!
Why couldn’t I have emotion? What did I have to loose?
Why would I worry about how my emotions may affect someone?
Why would I worry if my emotions could be used against me?
Life is richer with emotion!
Now I notice myself crying when I’m sad. I allow others to see this. I still am uncomfortable and I question myself, but I’m practicing to recognize the emotion and let it be.
When I’m excited, I say it! It doesn’t feel natural to me to say it out loud, but I do. With each time I say how excited I am, it begins to feel better.
When I’m angry, I let myself be angry! I proclaim it out loud, but I don’t let it control me. I accept that is how I feel and then focus on identifying why I’m angry and then work to let it go. Besides, anger makes me feel tired. Who wants that?!
I let myself be happy too. Instead of thinking that something bad is going to happen because I’m happy, I think how grateful I am to be happy and try to share it with others.
When I’m uncertain I tell someone what I’m uncertain about. I say it out loud to clarify what it means to me and if applicable the person I’m interacting with. If it’s silly, it becomes apparent. If it’s valid, we talk about it and come up with a solution or the other person confirms for me that there is nothing to worry about.
I find my emotion is based on perspective and I let myself have it!
