I use to find asking for help a very hard endeavor, as for most of my life I either expected it or refused to ask for help from those in my life.
In certain relationships I would expect help, and when I did not receive it I would act like a martyr and pout if it was not provided. Even though the person I expected it from had no idea of my expectations for help.
In other relationships I would refuse to ask for help. I would struggle and make my life miserable in an attempt to do what ever I needed help with on my own.
And in many situations, if I was offered help, I would start to sweat and get nervous. I would think to myself, I have to do this on my own and I feel stupid that this person knows I need help. I physically and emotionally became very uncomfortable and upset.
I refused to admit to myself that I needed help.
I even refused to ask a higher power for help.
Then there was the day that I could not take my life as it was any longer. I was at a dead end and needed to figure a way out of a predicament.
I asked for help from friends that I would never have asked for help from before. In fact I would go out of my way to offer help to them, but never accept it if they offered.
The response was amazing! They opened their hearts to me fully and I felt overwhelmed by the amazing response to my request.
This was a pivotal turning point in my life. I realized the power of asking for help!
Asking for help has been a journey for me. At times I still struggle with the concept of help, even after years of practice.
There are times when I still sweat when someone offers help. As well I struggle to ask for help when I need it.
I notice when I struggle after taking the time to acknowledge I have this issue of asking for help.
I continue to learn about myself and know myself.
I continue to practice.
