Changing a Mind - Personal Practice

I had been so hurt by a friend that I didn’t even realize I had shut down and wouldn’t let that kind of friendship in my life.

At the realization of this I took notice of my past behavior.  I was shocked at how I had treated others in order to protect myself from that type of pain.

Sure there had been times when I felt the pain, but I would push it back down.  

I thought I had overcome it because it didn’t bother me.  I had become a master at turning the feelings off.  I thought I was “letting it go”.

I thought I could be what I called a “bigger person” about the circumstance that led to my hurt.  I thought I was “forgiving”.

I was “letting it go” and I was “forgiving”, I still am.  But now I choose to allow myself to feel the pain and I choose to acknowledge that it hurts to be mistreated emotionally by someone.

I realized I was in hiding from my emotions.  I decided to come out of that hiding almost a year ago.  I decided to allow myself to be sad and upset over the hurt I experienced.

I noticed my decisions up to that point had been based on protecting myself and to not allow a friendship that close.

I realized that I was in circumstance that would not work for me because of my protective behavior.

I made changes over a four month timeframe to allow more time for me to spend with “me”.  

I then went through the pain of discovering and discussing how circumstance had shaped me over the past five years.  I put the work into taking down the walls.  I opened up to the possibility of friendship and found it!  But, opening up is not as easy as I thought it would be!

I’m still afraid of the pain of the hurt caused in the past.  At times the pain still feels fresh when I reflect upon it in a moment of fear in this new engagement of friendship.  But now, I talk about it with my friend.

My friend is patient and listens to me.  I have time to work through my hurt and move forward because of this patience.  There is no pressure to be someplace faster than I need to be and I don’t feel the need to placate to keep the peace.  

I no longer feel the need to hide!

Changing a Mind - Yoga Lesson

You may not realize it, but someone may be placating you.  

When trying to use force to make a point or change another person’s perspective on something, you may loose the opportunity.

Taking your time and allowing the other person to say their peace may win you their respect and sway their thought process.

Pressing a point may cost you the opportunity to make a valid or important transition.

Take time to listen!