Reacting - Personal Practice

I use to react mindlessly.

Sometimes I would burst with positive emotion and other times it would be negative.

The reactions were intense and could be overwhelming to me and to others.

Then I started upon the journey of learning about why I react the way I do to given situations.  I could look back on my life and see the experiences that led me to my reactions.  

I started to question if I was reacting for the sake of reacting or if I really truly felt the reaction.

It was both.  

It was as if I was in the moment of the past when faced with something similar in the present.  The emotions would be overwhelming and I would think “I’ve been here before, I know how to react”.  

Experience is a tricky thing.  It protects us and gives us a point of reference.  However, there may be times when we “over” react based on experience.

The situation and the people are sometimes not exactly the same.  There may be dynamics that make it completely different, but we try to make the experience the same.

At least that is what I found myself doing.

Then I started the practice of watching my reactions and found that I often reacted for the sake of reacting.  I was forcing the situation to be the same as a “similar” situation in the past.

I started holding the reaction in and giving myself time to think about it.  I allowed myself the reaction, but often in private.  Then I would gage whether it was fair to share that reaction with others or not.

I’ve made some mistakes in the process along the way.  I’ve not shared when I should have, or I’ve shared when I shouldn’t have.  Over analyzing can be a problem with this approach.

So, now I try to find a healthy outlet to talk about what I’m thinking about when I find myself over analyzing.  But, the awareness of me is worth any mistakes I may have made along the way.

I like to think before I react.

Reacting - Yoga Lesson

Sometimes we react without knowing why.

It could be dramatic the way we respond to a situation or words.

We have a whole personal lifetime of reference which guides us in our reactions.

Our reactions are very personal and only we ultimately know why we react the way we do.

The challenge is in knowing ourselves.  Taking the time to understand why we react to any given situation the way we do.

Knowing ourselves is the hardest part.  Once you do, the reaction is easy to understand.

Be aware and patient with yourself as you watch your reactions.

After all, it’s a lifetime that has guided you to this place where you behave as you do.

React to your reactions!

Emotion - Personal Practice

When I use to think of emotion, I viewed it as something to hide.

It didn’t matter what emotion it was, I needed to keep it guarded.

When I was indifferent, sad, or even angry I did my best to keep a straight face or act really polite and pleased about what ever it was I was involved in or doing.

When I was really happy or excited, I was afraid to show those emotions to others as they may see it as a sign of weakness or try to use the circumstance that created my happiness again to manipulate me.

If I did break down and show emotion, I would find a way to blame the person I showed emotion to.  It was their fault I had that break in my armor!

Wow!  What a lot of wasted energy!

Why couldn’t I have emotion?  What did I have to loose?

Why would I worry about how my emotions may affect someone?  

Why would I worry if my emotions could be used against me?

Life is richer with emotion!

Now I notice myself crying when I’m sad.  I allow others to see this.  I still am uncomfortable and I question myself, but I’m practicing to recognize the emotion and let it be.

When I’m excited, I say it!  It doesn’t feel natural to me to say it out loud, but I do.  With each time I say how excited I am, it begins to feel better.

When I’m angry, I let myself be angry!  I proclaim it out loud, but I don’t let it control me.  I accept that is how I feel and then focus on identifying why I’m angry and then work to let it go.  Besides, anger makes me feel tired.  Who wants that?!

I let myself be happy too.  Instead of thinking that something bad is going to happen because I’m happy, I think how grateful I am to be happy and try to share it with others.

When I’m uncertain I tell someone what I’m uncertain about.  I say it out loud to clarify what it means to me and if applicable the person I’m interacting with.  If it’s silly, it becomes apparent.  If it’s valid, we talk about it and come up with a solution or the other person confirms for me that there is nothing to worry about.

I find my emotion is based on perspective and I let myself have it!

Emotion - Yoga Lesson

Sometimes we fight Emotion. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s happiness or sadness, but for some reason we feel the need to question the emotion.

Why?

We could be calm or angry, but we wonder if the emotion is appropriate.  

Can we, should we, feel this way?

Why not challenge yourself to accept any emotion that comes up?

Live it and allow the emotion to be there with you, there is a reason you are experiencing it.

What is the lesson to be learned from the experience of the emotion?

The lesson may not be apparent right away, but with practice of allowing your emotions you will see the lesson sooner rather than later.

Be Emotional!

Alignment - Personal Practice

When I think of alignment I usually think of my posture or something physical.

It wasn’t until recently that I started to think of alignment as something to find with someone else.

I went through the exercise of looking at my goals and values and placing priority on them.  I then took a look at the goals and values of someone in my life to see how we aligned.  It was interesting to see how similar we are.

It was also interesting to recognize that we need to make some adjustments to find a balance and compromise in our communication with one another.  

It’s been challenging to see where I needed to open up and be honest and vocal about what is important to me.  To clearly state what I want.

I’ve done this.  Now it’s time to begin the exciting work of compromise and opening myself up to something new that I hadn’t thought of for myself.  To see what I can do that is completely different from my expectations and be accepting of the changes.

I also will be facing the realization that some adjustments will not be made.  I will need to accept myself for who I am, faults and all, and be okay with that status quo.  I think this will be the most challenging.  Wanting to compromise to make someone else happy, but recognize that I can not compromise as if I do so I will compromise myself.

In relationships with others it’s important to recognize who you are and be honest about it and to also give that same courtesy to others.

It is not my intention to change for the sake of compromise, but to grow and meet my goals and to be accepting of a different path to my goals.  

It is my intention to allow others to participate in my life and share in the excitement of my journey and for them to do the same for me.

I know I will want my own way.  I will want others to bend to my will.  I will have visions and expect them to follow in my outlined path.  

I will practice to keep myself from being so selfish and allow others to be themselves.

I will ask others to respect me and my goals and values along the way and I will do the same for them.

I will recognize when a new path in the journey can be taken.

This is going to be an interesting practice in my journey.

Alignment - Yoga Lesson

Alignment in call forms can be a daunting.

We often think of our yoga practice and getting our alignment in our postures just right.  

It can become an obsession and we spend a lot of time thinking about the adjustments we can make to improve our posture alignment.

What about alignment of our relationships?

We can make adjustments and compromises.  We can challenge ourselves to step out of comfort zones.  We can practice alignment with others.

Why not take a chance and discuss alignment with those closest to you in your life journey?

Be challenged!  Make adjustments!

See what happens.

Priorities! - Personal Practice

I have an ever changing list of priorities.  

Some priorities are necessary for day to day maintenance of my life, while others are priorities that help me to obtain goals in my life.

I have this view that some priorities can slide while others are required.

The ones that slide are usually the ones that are most important to me, while the ones that are completed are most important to someone else.  Why is this?

Possibly because I know there are expectations of me, or my name is attached to something and I take pride in that fact.  

I find I feel obligated to the lists I create to have some sense of order added to my life and so I can account to others.

I have to ask myself, what about the accountability to myself?  Why do I let my personal priorities slide?

Are they the right priorities?

It’s so easy to complete priorities for someone else.  I don’t have to think about the importance they have to me.  I go on autopilot and just get them done.  When I’m praised for a job well done upon completion of the priority, my ego inflates and I move onto the next priority someone has for me.

Why do I do this?  I know what my priorities are.  They are important and will enrich my life.  Bottom line is, I’m Scared!  I’m afraid of my own self.

I create reasons as to why the priority has to wait.  

I create diversions for myself with false priorities and goals.

I do this all because I’m afraid!

When I think of what I’m doing.  I can’t help but be disappointed in myself.

Then I realize.  I’m aware.  I know what I’m doing.  No need to be disappointed, just stay aware!

So I continue to practice staying aware and making the transition to focus on my real priorities in life.

I am in control!