Direction - Personal Practice

I had a very interesting conversation this past week about direction.

It was a discussion in passing in which it became clear to me that I may lack focus on some of my intentions I’ve set for myself because I no longer have clear direction.

In pondering my direction of life further, I noticed I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to make those intentions I set for myself at the beginning of the year fit into my life as it is now.  

In spending all this effort recently to meet the needs I previously defined for myself I have started to flounder.  I have even felt guilty for not achieving these intentions.

I find this unsettling as I like to think of myself as a goal oriented person with clear focus and direction.  

I realized recently that I am not goal oriented and lack clear focus!  I was feeling weighted down by lack of direction. 

So I started to investigate my Intentions.

Upon investigation I saw that some intentions I’ve set for myself over this last year are no longer valid.  My circumstance has changed so much that some of my priorities of twelve months ago no longer seem like a priority.  

I’m currently morning the loss of their importance in my life.  It feels almost unnerving to discover that I don’t need those intentions for myself any longer.  

With this self discovery, as is normal at the end of a calendar year, I see that I now need to set my new list of intentions and place priority on them and then build goals for each priority accordingly.

I started my list of intentions with so much hope and promise for my future!  I had clear direction and it felt great!

I have had many successes with that list of intentions and have achieved many of the intentions I set.  I celebrate those successes fully!

Now as I let go of some of the original intentions from that list that no longer fit into my life and circumstance, I plan to replace them with new intentions.  New Intentions that help me to be focused and happy with direction toward the wonderful possibility of achieving these New Intentions!

So, off I go to see how far I get with this new list!

Direction - Yoga Lesson

What is direction to you?

Once you start to think of your direction, it may seem as though you are light hearted and feel excited and inspired.  Or possibly you feel heavy and burdened with lack of direction.

What is it that you feel?

How to you clarify your direction?

Can you let go of past ideas for yourself that no longer apply?

Can you find new and exciting directions for your life if you are feeling heavy with lack of focus?

Give yourself the gift of direction!

Circumstance - Personal Practice

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately as I have reflected back on past circumstance.

I want things to be as they were in so many ways, but I also want what the future holds for me with the transitions I’ve made in my life.

Then it dawned on me that I haven’t been very good at practicing being in the moment.

I’ve been forcing and fighting the circumstance I’m in and complaining.  

This is not the person I want to be!

I want to be in the moment!  

I’ve decided to change my attitude and remember why I made the choices I did and to remember that every step of the way to my circumstance I’ve made the choices.  No one forced me into this circumstance.

Change can be difficult, so I’ll cut myself some slack.  It’s hard not to want some of my old comforts and ways of living life.

When I reflect back on past transitions that were difficult I know that when I settled in I found myself in a better place.  I use those lessons to remind myself to have patience.

Circumstance is a tricky and it’s important to keep myself from blaming my circumstance on others.  It was all my choice!

This is my circumstance and I embrace it!  

I want my circumstance!

If I didn’t, I have the power and choice to change it.

I’m in this moment.

Circumstance - Yoga Lesson

As defined by the dictionary circumstance is the sum of determining factors beyond willful control.

As a friend said to me “Most people if given the chance would change their circumstance”

Why not start thinking of circumstance as something within your control by living in the moment you are in.  

Practice stepping away from the moments of the past that have brought you to this moment.  

Instead of thinking about how your circumstance is going to change in the future, rather accept this moment as it is.

When in this moment make active steps to slightly modify existing circumstance so you can transition in the direction of your intentions.

Accept the circumstance of this moment.  You are here for a reason.

Learning - Personal Practice

I have recently had a lot of changes in my life.  

I moved.  I’m living with another person where I use to live alone.

I visited a foreign place.  I have new projects at work. 

One constant in all of this has been that I have to keep an open mind and be willing to learn and adapt.

This is easier said than done!

My routine has completely changed!  I am like a fish out of water!  I get frustrated and I cry because I miss the comfort of what is familiar and easy to me.

However, I choose this!  I’m glad I’m choosing to change and be different!  I’m happy and excited and feel alive to challenge my comfort zones.

I could choose to stay the same and never change.  I could stop learning about myself and think that “this is who I am”.  

I could take a job where I do the same thing all the time.  I could surround myself with people who do not challenge me or press me to try new things.  

I could choose people to socialize with that accept my approach to life and do not challenge me to try new approaches to solve problems we may experience in sharing our experiences together.

I choose to allow discomfort in my life.  This way I know I’m being challenged and I’m learning.

Don’t get me wrong.  I want to be comfortable and have a familiarity with places, things, jobs, and people.  

However, I don’t want to think that things are not going to change.  That I will stop growing or that my job has no challenge left for me.  Or think that the significant people in my life will not grow or offer challenge to me.   

I want to learn and evolve to keep the journey exciting and interesting.

So I say to myself when things are hard and challenging that this is part of learning something new.  I accept the discomfort and frustration.

I want to learn!

Learning - Yoga Lesson

Often we think we know it all.  We have learned all there is to know with regard to ourselves, our jobs, and those in our social circle.

Maybe you haven’t learned everything?

Possibly there is something you have been holding back on because you thought it would be impossible to do.  Learn how!  Do it!

What if there is a deeper layer to the job you do?  What if all you have to do is take a new approach?  Maybe start asking your co-workers questions to see what they think.  Take the positive and forget the negative.

How about some of the people you know?  How about catching yourself whenever you start to cast judgment on them?  Just when you think you know how they are going to respond, stop yourself from assuming they will respond as anticipated.  Why not wait to see?  Maybe you will learn something new about someone you thought you knew.

Take time to have the attitude you will learn something new and possibly you will gain a new appreciation of the things and people in your life.

Thought - Personal Practice

To this day I feel bad about a situation in which I mindlessly made a statement and hurt someone else in the process.

I repeated something someone else had said in order to be accepted by a new crowd of friends.

I am maybe being a little harsh on myself as I was very young.  

I think the lesson is valid, especially since I’ve had a lifetime of the memory of the reaction of the person whom I hurt.

That memory creeps up on me from time to time without warning and I’m left with the feeling that I could have been a better person.  I often wish I hadn’t said what I did because I truly did not feel that way.  

I simply repeated something said by another without thought.

I think this memory creeps back on me because it’s a life lesson I’m still learning.

When I make a statement or judgment to someone, how much thought have I really put into it?  Am I really prepared to stand by the statement?

It’s a question I’ve started to ask myself more and put practice into.

I find the differing perspectives of the people I interact with daily can be a bit trying.

Everyone has their perspective on subjects or other people.  

I want to have my own thoughtful opinion.

So I will practice doing just that!

Thinking and being mindful in all that I do.

Thought - Yoga Lesson

Thoughtfulness is something we usually think of as how we treat others.

How about how we treat ourselves?

The lifetime of accepting others thoughts or opinions can be plaguing.

It’s not that you don’t have your own opinion or thought it’s that we can become accustomed to trusting a source or a society standard that the thought of questioning may not cross our minds.

Why not question your thoughts?

Why not investigate how you think or feel about a specific subject, standard, or opinion?

What you find in the process may surprise you.

The only way to find out is by thought.

Reacting - Personal Practice

I use to react mindlessly.

Sometimes I would burst with positive emotion and other times it would be negative.

The reactions were intense and could be overwhelming to me and to others.

Then I started upon the journey of learning about why I react the way I do to given situations.  I could look back on my life and see the experiences that led me to my reactions.  

I started to question if I was reacting for the sake of reacting or if I really truly felt the reaction.

It was both.  

It was as if I was in the moment of the past when faced with something similar in the present.  The emotions would be overwhelming and I would think “I’ve been here before, I know how to react”.  

Experience is a tricky thing.  It protects us and gives us a point of reference.  However, there may be times when we “over” react based on experience.

The situation and the people are sometimes not exactly the same.  There may be dynamics that make it completely different, but we try to make the experience the same.

At least that is what I found myself doing.

Then I started the practice of watching my reactions and found that I often reacted for the sake of reacting.  I was forcing the situation to be the same as a “similar” situation in the past.

I started holding the reaction in and giving myself time to think about it.  I allowed myself the reaction, but often in private.  Then I would gage whether it was fair to share that reaction with others or not.

I’ve made some mistakes in the process along the way.  I’ve not shared when I should have, or I’ve shared when I shouldn’t have.  Over analyzing can be a problem with this approach.

So, now I try to find a healthy outlet to talk about what I’m thinking about when I find myself over analyzing.  But, the awareness of me is worth any mistakes I may have made along the way.

I like to think before I react.

Reacting - Yoga Lesson

Sometimes we react without knowing why.

It could be dramatic the way we respond to a situation or words.

We have a whole personal lifetime of reference which guides us in our reactions.

Our reactions are very personal and only we ultimately know why we react the way we do.

The challenge is in knowing ourselves.  Taking the time to understand why we react to any given situation the way we do.

Knowing ourselves is the hardest part.  Once you do, the reaction is easy to understand.

Be aware and patient with yourself as you watch your reactions.

After all, it’s a lifetime that has guided you to this place where you behave as you do.

React to your reactions!

Emotion - Personal Practice

When I use to think of emotion, I viewed it as something to hide.

It didn’t matter what emotion it was, I needed to keep it guarded.

When I was indifferent, sad, or even angry I did my best to keep a straight face or act really polite and pleased about what ever it was I was involved in or doing.

When I was really happy or excited, I was afraid to show those emotions to others as they may see it as a sign of weakness or try to use the circumstance that created my happiness again to manipulate me.

If I did break down and show emotion, I would find a way to blame the person I showed emotion to.  It was their fault I had that break in my armor!

Wow!  What a lot of wasted energy!

Why couldn’t I have emotion?  What did I have to loose?

Why would I worry about how my emotions may affect someone?  

Why would I worry if my emotions could be used against me?

Life is richer with emotion!

Now I notice myself crying when I’m sad.  I allow others to see this.  I still am uncomfortable and I question myself, but I’m practicing to recognize the emotion and let it be.

When I’m excited, I say it!  It doesn’t feel natural to me to say it out loud, but I do.  With each time I say how excited I am, it begins to feel better.

When I’m angry, I let myself be angry!  I proclaim it out loud, but I don’t let it control me.  I accept that is how I feel and then focus on identifying why I’m angry and then work to let it go.  Besides, anger makes me feel tired.  Who wants that?!

I let myself be happy too.  Instead of thinking that something bad is going to happen because I’m happy, I think how grateful I am to be happy and try to share it with others.

When I’m uncertain I tell someone what I’m uncertain about.  I say it out loud to clarify what it means to me and if applicable the person I’m interacting with.  If it’s silly, it becomes apparent.  If it’s valid, we talk about it and come up with a solution or the other person confirms for me that there is nothing to worry about.

I find my emotion is based on perspective and I let myself have it!

Emotion - Yoga Lesson

Sometimes we fight Emotion. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s happiness or sadness, but for some reason we feel the need to question the emotion.

Why?

We could be calm or angry, but we wonder if the emotion is appropriate.  

Can we, should we, feel this way?

Why not challenge yourself to accept any emotion that comes up?

Live it and allow the emotion to be there with you, there is a reason you are experiencing it.

What is the lesson to be learned from the experience of the emotion?

The lesson may not be apparent right away, but with practice of allowing your emotions you will see the lesson sooner rather than later.

Be Emotional!

Alignment - Personal Practice

When I think of alignment I usually think of my posture or something physical.

It wasn’t until recently that I started to think of alignment as something to find with someone else.

I went through the exercise of looking at my goals and values and placing priority on them.  I then took a look at the goals and values of someone in my life to see how we aligned.  It was interesting to see how similar we are.

It was also interesting to recognize that we need to make some adjustments to find a balance and compromise in our communication with one another.  

It’s been challenging to see where I needed to open up and be honest and vocal about what is important to me.  To clearly state what I want.

I’ve done this.  Now it’s time to begin the exciting work of compromise and opening myself up to something new that I hadn’t thought of for myself.  To see what I can do that is completely different from my expectations and be accepting of the changes.

I also will be facing the realization that some adjustments will not be made.  I will need to accept myself for who I am, faults and all, and be okay with that status quo.  I think this will be the most challenging.  Wanting to compromise to make someone else happy, but recognize that I can not compromise as if I do so I will compromise myself.

In relationships with others it’s important to recognize who you are and be honest about it and to also give that same courtesy to others.

It is not my intention to change for the sake of compromise, but to grow and meet my goals and to be accepting of a different path to my goals.  

It is my intention to allow others to participate in my life and share in the excitement of my journey and for them to do the same for me.

I know I will want my own way.  I will want others to bend to my will.  I will have visions and expect them to follow in my outlined path.  

I will practice to keep myself from being so selfish and allow others to be themselves.

I will ask others to respect me and my goals and values along the way and I will do the same for them.

I will recognize when a new path in the journey can be taken.

This is going to be an interesting practice in my journey.

Alignment - Yoga Lesson

Alignment in call forms can be a daunting.

We often think of our yoga practice and getting our alignment in our postures just right.  

It can become an obsession and we spend a lot of time thinking about the adjustments we can make to improve our posture alignment.

What about alignment of our relationships?

We can make adjustments and compromises.  We can challenge ourselves to step out of comfort zones.  We can practice alignment with others.

Why not take a chance and discuss alignment with those closest to you in your life journey?

Be challenged!  Make adjustments!

See what happens.

Priorities! - Personal Practice

I have an ever changing list of priorities.  

Some priorities are necessary for day to day maintenance of my life, while others are priorities that help me to obtain goals in my life.

I have this view that some priorities can slide while others are required.

The ones that slide are usually the ones that are most important to me, while the ones that are completed are most important to someone else.  Why is this?

Possibly because I know there are expectations of me, or my name is attached to something and I take pride in that fact.  

I find I feel obligated to the lists I create to have some sense of order added to my life and so I can account to others.

I have to ask myself, what about the accountability to myself?  Why do I let my personal priorities slide?

Are they the right priorities?

It’s so easy to complete priorities for someone else.  I don’t have to think about the importance they have to me.  I go on autopilot and just get them done.  When I’m praised for a job well done upon completion of the priority, my ego inflates and I move onto the next priority someone has for me.

Why do I do this?  I know what my priorities are.  They are important and will enrich my life.  Bottom line is, I’m Scared!  I’m afraid of my own self.

I create reasons as to why the priority has to wait.  

I create diversions for myself with false priorities and goals.

I do this all because I’m afraid!

When I think of what I’m doing.  I can’t help but be disappointed in myself.

Then I realize.  I’m aware.  I know what I’m doing.  No need to be disappointed, just stay aware!

So I continue to practice staying aware and making the transition to focus on my real priorities in life.

I am in control!

Priorities! - Yoga Lesson

Priorities can feel like a prison!

We list them out and then work to stay on track with them.

Are the priorities in your life relevant?

Possibly they were relevant sometime in your past, but need a little updating.

When you start to feel like a slave to your priorities it may be time to re-evaluate them.

Give yourself the freedom “literally” to let go of some of your priorities.

It may be overwhelming to do this as you have been following the priorities of your life closely for some time, but what can it hurt to question your own priorities?  You are more than a list put together sometime ago in your past.

Make it a priority to re-prioritize and see what freedom you may gain.

Ask! - Personal Practice

I’ve been afraid to say out loud what I really want.

Why?

It goes back to interpretation of what I “should” want.  What I have felt would define happiness.

It has felt silly to look myself in the mirror and say what I want out loud.

I find it stressful and I’m uneasy with the process.

I’m working on getting certain and confident with myself.  So I practice sitting in front of the mirror and looking myself in the eye’s while I make the request out loud as to what I really want out of life.

I ask for a life that is contrary to expectation or what I’m capable of achieving if I stay in and on my current path.

I’m afraid to let go of what I know as my life to this point.

I want something different and I know this deep within.

I continue to play with what I ask and how I ask for it.

Until it feels right I know I won’t get what I’m asking for.

I know every time I suffer a disappointment for not receiving what I asked for, it’s because it wasn’t right.  I didn’t really want it.  I just thought I did because of my preconceptions.  

So I practice letting go of what I did not get and focus on getting certain about what I want.

I continue to practice asking.

I simply ASK!

Ask! - Yoga Lesson

It may feel silly to ask for what you want.

This is normal.

We are so conditioned to deny ourselves and follow expectations.

When we take the time to be honest with ourselves and say what we want, doors open.

Why not take time to get clear about what you really want out of this life journey and then say it out loud?  

What could it hurt?

Who cares if you feel silly?

Be Silly!

Say what you want and Get It!

Make Time For You! - Personal Practice

I’ve been feeling a little out of control.  

I’ve felt lost.  

I have been sharing, gaining new perspectives, and taking on challenges.  I’ve taken the practice very seriously.

Then I realized.  There is value in making time for me and who I have been and who I am.

I have comfort and joy in knowing who I am and how I live my life.

I notice there are good and bad things about me.  I can be positive and I can be negative.

I can be overzealous and extreme!

Why not take the time for me?  

I know cleaning the house gives me visual pleasure and a sense of peace, so I do it.  

I know exercise is my meditation and clears my mind, so I do it.

I know spending time with my friends brings me joy, so I do it.

I know working on projects that are important to me give me a sense of accomplishment, so I do it.

I do it for me!

I have a renewed energy.  I’m confident in what I want and what makes me happy.

I go back to sharing of myself and what is important to me with others.

I go back listening to the perspective of others and I’m more accepting.

I take on new challenges with enthusiasm and I step out of the feeling of being overwhelmed and feeling like there is too much on my plate.

Now I feel I have more to give, because I gave to myself.

I listened to my heart.  I used my intuition.  I let go of others expectations.

I made time for myself.

Make Time For You! - Yoga Lesson

Taking time for self can feel selfish!

Why?

Is it usually because we want to make others in our lives happy and feel like a priority?

Can we do both?  Take time for self and for others in our lives.

Sure!

Open communication and expression of personal needs can lend to cohabitation with people in our lives.  

You can find compromise to achieve self and let go of feeling selfish.

Open up and talk about it.  Allow for freedom of expression and personal choice for yourself.  

Here’s the trick.  You have to allow others the same luxury!

We all need time for ourselves!

Challenge! - Personal Practice

Challenges!  

How come I’m always being faced with new challenges?!

Every time I think I make headway on something I’ve been working on, a new twist is introduced and I’m challenged “Again”!

I get all emotional about the challenge and then I take a step back.  I calm down.

I realize that I’m all worked up because the challenge is something new and unknown.  I don’t know how I’m going to go about meeting the challenge.  It’s unnerving and scary and that’s why I’ve gotten myself all worked up!

That’s the hard part of any challenge.  How you approach it.

So once again I’m back to practicing.  I’m aware and I noticed that I have a new challenge with unknowns and it’s up to me to ask for help.  It’s up to me to recognize that I do not have all the answers and that’s what makes a challenge fun!

Now I take on a new perspective.  I stop trying to force the challenge to fit something I know and accept that I must take the approach of student.  I believe I can do it!  I can take this challenge and learn from it.

I don’t know how the outcome will look when I finish.

Now the challenge becomes something exciting because of the unknown!

I can take the approach that I’m forced to get creative, or I can allow myself to be creative and enjoy the creativity of meeting my new challenge.

I choose to be creative!  I choose to explore options!  I choose to use my intuition!  I choose to take the opportunity to learn! 

I’m taking the challenge! 

Challenge! - Yoga Lesson

Challenge can be so fearful!

We can start to think about the unknown and failure.

When you find yourself afraid, take note and “Stop”!

Ask yourself how you can get creative about your challenge.

Step out of the expectations and make the challenge your own, make it interesting!

You have a world of possibilities at your fingertips if you allow yourself to believe that and be certain about it.

Embrace the challenge!

Perspective! - Personal Practice

I know how I see life!

I’m clear on what my journey has been and my experience and intuition guide me!

Then I take a step back and notice that my behavior and my decisions when faced with choice are guided by perspective.  My Perspective!

How do I open up and allow a new perspective?  There are infinite possibilities when faced with choice and I let my emotions get all tangled up in the direction I’m taking based on past lessons.

So, I decide to listen to new perspectives.  I decide to take time to really listen and not interrupt others, even thought I want to interrupt.  I want to interrupt because I have perspective and experience to share that might help someone else.

But I’m trying to learn something new!  I’m trying to quite my mind and listen.  I find it very hard!  My ego is shouting to me that “I know best!”

Still I stop.  I regroup and remind myself I’m practicing listening to others.

I’m working on opening my mind to something new.  I’m working on the possibility of gaining new insight and a new approach to an old challenge.

I value the people I’ve asked for a new perspective from in the past.  And I find that they have begun to “know me” and may be feeding me information they “think” I want to hear.  So I seek out people I respect that I have not asked for perspective from in the past.  I listen to what they think.

I’m challenging myself to try something new and to allow new opportunities for my life.

I find my brain almost hurts with the influx of new thoughts and I struggle to let go of the definitions I have of myself and the definitions I let others use to describe me.

I’m trying to open up and it’s difficult.

I take one day at a time and encourage myself to continue with the practice of gaining new perspectives!

Perspective! - Yoga Lesson

Perspective is so personal!

We all like to think we have the best perspective on things.

Why not open up and listen to someone with regard to their perspective on a subject?

Or, take your perspective and talk about it with someone to see what they think about your perspective?

Opening up and allowing yourself to be challenged by a different point of view can be daunting.

However, you may gain insight and have the opportunity to take your journey in a new direction with a fresh perspective.

Pick a perspective you have on something or someone and challenge it by allowing someone else to provide their perspective.

Give it a try!  

Sharing - Personal Practice

Opening up and letting someone else know my deepest thoughts can be terrifying!

Sharing all that I hope for in life has been something I reserve for discussions in which I pose as someone sharing the “wouldn’t it be cool if” mentality.  This way I had an out if the other person I shared with thought my hopes were silly.

I started to realize I was doing this.  I was protecting myself.  

I noticed I had no voice when it came to expressing my hearts desires for my life.

But how was I going to change this?  How was I going to start sharing and believing in my dreams?

I had to get clarity.  I had to practice saying out loud what I wanted with people I trust.

I felt silly, but I kept doing it!  I kept practicing!

Then sharing started to come easier and easier with people that had known me for a long time.

Now the challenge was getting my voice to share with those who have not known me.

This added a new element to believing in me and my dreams.

I decided to take a chance and start being vocal about what I want out of life.

I’m amazed at how receptive people are!

The challenge for me now is to continue to express myself, even though I’m still stumbling.  I’m getting used to sharing.  It’s still a challenge and I believe will continue to be for a little while longer.

I have time.  I have lots of time to practice sharing what I want out of life.

I just need to Practice!

Sharing! - Yoga Lesson

Sharing can be so difficult!  

Especially when we think of all the inconveniences sharing might cause us.

When you catch yourself thinking of the inconvenience of sharing, why not think about the rewards instead?

Sharing takes many different forms and the difference you make by sharing is a far greater reward than the time you save by not sharing.  

Why not share today?

Help! - Personal Practice

I use to find asking for help a very hard endeavor, as for most of my life I either expected it or refused to ask for help from those in my life.

In certain relationships I would expect help, and when I did not receive it I would act like a martyr and pout if it was not provided.  Even though the person I expected it from had no idea of my expectations for help.

In other relationships I would refuse to ask for help.  I would struggle and make my life miserable in an attempt to do what ever I needed help with on my own.

And in many situations, if I was offered help, I would start to sweat and get nervous.  I would think to myself, I have to do this on my own and I feel stupid that this person knows I need help.  I physically and emotionally became very uncomfortable and upset.

I refused to admit to myself that I needed help.

I even refused to ask a higher power for help.

Then there was the day that I could not take my life as it was any longer.  I was at a dead end and needed to figure a way out of a predicament.

I asked for help from friends that I would never have asked for help from before.  In fact I would go out of my way to offer help to them, but never accept it if they offered.

The response was amazing!  They opened their hearts to me fully and I felt overwhelmed by the amazing response to my request.

This was a pivotal turning point in my life.  I realized the power of asking for help!

Asking for help has been a journey for me.  At times I still struggle with the concept of help, even after years of practice.

There are times when I still sweat when someone offers help.  As well I struggle to ask for help when I need it.

I notice when I struggle after taking the time to acknowledge I have this issue of asking for help.  

I continue to learn about myself and know myself.  

I continue to practice.

Help! - Yoga Lesson

Help is often a hard thing to ask for.  

We learn to expect help or to not ask for it, all in an effort to avoid saying the words “I need help”.

Why not ask?  Why not put yourself out on limb and be honest when you are in need?

It could be as simple as saying out loud to yourself that you need help.

Amazing things happen when you ask for help!

Ask!

Talk About It! - Personal Practice

I found my mind wondering with all the “if this, then that” scenarios of life. 

I’d been trying to play out every situation and how it will most likely end in the long term to ensure I know where I stand.

I use to do this without talking about how I feel about specific “things” with others in my life.  

Now I recognize this behavior and I’m practicing opening up and communicating.

I’d found myself a bit lost and uncertain because I’d been trying to find control around something I have no control over.  

I’ve recognized that I’m creating my own issues with lack of communication.  

I am asking myself to live in the moment and let go of the control and the fear of the unknown.  I’m asking myself to refrain from recreating past scenarios and let this one play out as it is unique.

I’m writing my concerns down and giving myself time to think about them.

I’m writing my goals down and making adjustments as I see fit.  It’s been a while since I last did this.  I’m giving myself time to do this and think about it.

I’m reminding myself that change is something I can count on and I can embrace it and accept that it may be a bit uncomfortable.

I’m being gentle on myself by reminding myself that I don’t have to have all the answers now.

I’m taking a hard look at myself and my behavior now, my past behavior, and reminding myself that no one is perfect and I can relate to the “perfectly human imperfections” in others.

I am asking myself the hard questions to clarify what is truly important in life.

I am reminding myself that each moment is special and should be treated so.  Even the moments I don’t like so much I’m working to find peace in.

I am practicing acceptance of myself and others.

I am communicating, even if it is only with myself to start.

Talk About It! - Yoga Lesson

So often we let things go unsaid.  We miss the opportunity to express ourselves or say how we feel.

When identifying something you would like to discuss.  Why not let others know you would like to do so?  

You can tell them you need time before you are ready to discuss the something with clarity, but you would like to sometime in the future when you are ready.

There is no time limit on open communication.

Opening the lines of communication and expressing yourself may aid you in peace of mind.

Why not Talk About It!

Changing a Mind - Personal Practice

I had been so hurt by a friend that I didn’t even realize I had shut down and wouldn’t let that kind of friendship in my life.

At the realization of this I took notice of my past behavior.  I was shocked at how I had treated others in order to protect myself from that type of pain.

Sure there had been times when I felt the pain, but I would push it back down.  

I thought I had overcome it because it didn’t bother me.  I had become a master at turning the feelings off.  I thought I was “letting it go”.

I thought I could be what I called a “bigger person” about the circumstance that led to my hurt.  I thought I was “forgiving”.

I was “letting it go” and I was “forgiving”, I still am.  But now I choose to allow myself to feel the pain and I choose to acknowledge that it hurts to be mistreated emotionally by someone.

I realized I was in hiding from my emotions.  I decided to come out of that hiding almost a year ago.  I decided to allow myself to be sad and upset over the hurt I experienced.

I noticed my decisions up to that point had been based on protecting myself and to not allow a friendship that close.

I realized that I was in circumstance that would not work for me because of my protective behavior.

I made changes over a four month timeframe to allow more time for me to spend with “me”.  

I then went through the pain of discovering and discussing how circumstance had shaped me over the past five years.  I put the work into taking down the walls.  I opened up to the possibility of friendship and found it!  But, opening up is not as easy as I thought it would be!

I’m still afraid of the pain of the hurt caused in the past.  At times the pain still feels fresh when I reflect upon it in a moment of fear in this new engagement of friendship.  But now, I talk about it with my friend.

My friend is patient and listens to me.  I have time to work through my hurt and move forward because of this patience.  There is no pressure to be someplace faster than I need to be and I don’t feel the need to placate to keep the peace.  

I no longer feel the need to hide!

Changing a Mind - Yoga Lesson

You may not realize it, but someone may be placating you.  

When trying to use force to make a point or change another person’s perspective on something, you may loose the opportunity.

Taking your time and allowing the other person to say their peace may win you their respect and sway their thought process.

Pressing a point may cost you the opportunity to make a valid or important transition.

Take time to listen!

Self Discipline - Personal Practice

I use to spend a lot of time debating with myself over whether I should do something or other or not.  I would make myself sick with guilt if I didn’t do the “thing” I committed to myself I would do.  

I practiced Self Discipline in a very unconstructive fashion.  I would beat myself up and consider myself a failure if I didn’t follow through.  

The fear of feeling this way pushed me to my edge and then over many times.

I had all these rules to keep myself happy all the time.  Or a version of what I thought happiness was.  

For instance, I would say to myself if I do this “thing” then I can relax and be happy and everyone around me will be happy too.  Then I would run myself ragged trying to do too many “things” in order to achieve happiness and give happiness.  The problem was that I always had too many “things” to do.

Then I started to realize that there is a process to achieving “something” and I may not always like the process and that it’s okay to not like it or to be unhappy sometimes while working on “something”.

I recognized that there is a Self Discipline attached to many of the “things” I do and achievement is my reward, even if it is small.

Then I started to ask myself questions the same way I would ask a friend questions who felt imprisoned by the “things” they wanted to accomplish.  I asked myself simple questions like: 

Will I feel a sense of accomplishment upon completing this thing?

Will there be long term benefits that I feel is worth the effort now?

Do I have to do this?  Do I want to do this?

Is this what I really want to do, or is this something I feel “I have” to do for someone else or to fit in to society?

Sometimes surprisingly enough the answer was “No” to some of these questions.

What freedom!  Some of the “things” I felt I needed to do all of a sudden I didn’t feel so imprisoned by anymore.  I stopped making myself miserable, or at least I recognized if I was making myself miserable, in attempt to provide happiness to others.

Taking away the rules and structure and breaking down my “thing” to its basic foundation of “Is it good for me” clarified Self Discipline and has made the Journey much more rewarding.

So ask yourself.  Is it good for me?

Self Discipline - Yoga Lesson

When you don’t feel like following through.  When you want to put it off till another day or take a break.  

This is when your Self Discipline kicks in.  

Self Discipline is when you push yourself to get up and take the initiative for your own benefit, for the reward of knowing you accomplished something when you really didn’t want to.

When you can become your own advocate and listen to the positive reinforcement from within, you are practicing Self Discipline.

Often it can be a short lived aggravation or pain, but the benefits you know far outweigh the discomfort you feel in the short term.

This is pushing your edge!  This is making it happen!

Not all moments are a joy in our practice, but the benefits of our hard work in those difficult moments should be.

Be aware of where you are in your practice.